Saturday, August 26, 2006

Family Activities?

My wife recently received the following question from a reader of her blog.

Derek asks

"Kim,

My wife and I have recently been led by God to give our family’s size over to God’s will (i.e. – no more birth control), and consequently, I’ve been thinking about all the different aspects about having a big family (God willing). That being said, I will definitely be using your blog as a source of wisdom.

My question this time was about homeschooling and extracurricular activities. I want my children to be involved in some activities outside the house, but with so many children, how is that possible? My thought was that our family is going to have to limit it to a couple of organizations such as Boy Scouts and 4H.

What does your family do? Are any of your children involved in any activities or organizations outside the home? Just curious how other large families have handled this.

God bless"

Kim has posted her perspective on this HERE

I had a few thoughts as well.

My reply:

Derek,

As the head of your household you have to look at more than the logistics of getting to and from a lot of activities. That is, assume for a moment that my family had one activity for each of our 8 children outside the home every OTHER week. We would be on the go 4 nights a week.

Take for instance a once a month commitment for each of the kids: that is twice a week, plus wed church meeting for most families and grocery shopping on the one other night.

My point?

Once you have children your job as the father/ head of household is not to give them opportunities - although as a father, who doesn't like to make fun things available to our kids?
Mat 7:9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone;
Mat 7:10 or if he shall ask for a fish, will give him a serpent?
Mat 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

but your one sacred and holy duty before God when you have children is this ...

Deu 6:3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as Jehovah, the God of thy fathers, hath promised unto thee, in a land flowing with milk and honey.
Deu 6:4 Hear, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah:
Deu 6:5 and thou shalt love Jehovah thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deu 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be upon thy heart;
Deu 6:7 and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (emph mine)
See I have to constantly evaluate my family's schedule in light of that command. Before we make commitments, we must as fathers evaluate what impact it will have on my ability to teach the commandments of the Lord to my children (i.e. how will 4h affect my family worship routine).

We must start with first things, like family worship, and move out from there. Once we lay the foundation of a rigorous routine of Scriptural study for our family, then we can try and fit other activities around THAT routine.

If we don't start with the study and application of Scripture as the basis of our Christian family's routine then we will end up as the fathers of old.

Jdg 2:10 And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, that knew not Jehovah, nor yet the work which he had wrought for Israel.
Jdg 2:11 And the children of Israel did that which was evil in the sight of Jehovah, and served the Baalim;

3 comments:

  1. Thank you both for your advice and opinions. I'm finding more and more as we start to go a separate way than our other friends and family (i.e. - homeschool, family worship, "quiver full" mindset) that many of the things I was told are a "must" are really not.
    I thought your words about family worship and training your child up in the way of the Lord were 100% right on. As a Christian and head of my house, I know full well the words of Jesus:
    "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment." Mark 12:30
    However, I sometimes let my focus drift away from that ever important goal. You're so right! If I'm truely living this out, family worship and teaching my children to follow Him has to come first, and everything else can happen if there's time. So many times in our lives we say we want to put God first, but we let everything else get in the way and He gets put on the back burner, at best.
    After reading you and Kim's response, my wife posed an interesting question. The conversation went something like this:
    Wife - "Why do you want our boys to join Boy Scouts?"
    Me - "Well, it teaches them responsibility, character, leadership and cool camping and survival skills."
    Wife - "Aren't those things that you can teach them yourself?"
    What a good point! What a help mate I've been blessed with!
    Obviously there are some things we might need someone else to teach them, such as piano lessons, but that's something we could all learn together. Plus, if we could find someone to come to the house we could do right here at home instead of trudging to town.
    Thanks for giving me a new perspective on this topic. You and your wife's blog have done that well these last few months.

    God bless

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  2. With our six children, most of our activities are as a group. My work keeps me pretty busy during the week, so at the weekends the children want to do ANYTHING with me. This may be a walk around the neighbourhood, a trip to the shops, a vist to a park. It doesn't matter.
    The children get plenty of activity with themselves and other homeschooling families. External activities need only be rare and inclusive of everyone.
    We also have family days which start with a discussion of the current week's readings and discussion of faith and life matters followed by games and so on.
    Just enjoy being a father and spiritual leader of the family.

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  3. What a great perspective. We are going to homeschool and have no interest in secular community activities for the most part.

    My wife and I are hoping for the Lord to bless us with another child soon. Our extended family thinks were crazy since we are still tube feeding our youngest who was born with a laundry list of medical issues. He is much better, but still requires a little more attention than your average 22 month old. I am hoping for at least 2 or 3 more children, but I am would be very happy with a half dozen more.

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